Why Forcing Things to Happen Doesn’t Work

Posted by on Oct 2, 2012 in Branding, Creative, Life | 1 comment

Let’s face it. There are lots of things in life that are easy to do. It’s “easy” to wake up in the morning and brush your teeth. It’s “easy” to drive your car from one place to another. It’s “easy” to do some of the tasks you do at work each day. These are skills you have mastered, and as such, they come easily to you. You do them almost without thought or concern.

In an entirely different realm lie the things that come to you “with ease.” They are fun to you. You wake up excited to take them on. You are passionate about them. They aren’t necessarily “easy,” but they come to you “with ease” because you have a fire in your belly to do them. It’s almost like something outside yourself is “flowing” through you.  You enjoy it so much, you find pockets of time you didn’t know existed to do “the thing.”

It’s your “thing.” It’s your “calling.” Find more time in your life to do “the thing” or “things” and you feed and nourish your soul.

Some may say it’s “selfish” to take time to do something that feeds your soul in such a way. I say “hogwash!” As you fire up your neurons and let yourself play “free form” on the canvas of your life, you bring healing energy not only to yourself, but to those around you who witness your passion.

To me, to do something “with ease” means to not force or contrive it into being.

I was “God slapped” by this truth a few weeks ago while working on a new project that just wouldn’t fly. It involved vision boards and a circle of women. It had all the ingredients of the yummy experiences I love bringing into the world.

And I did ALL the right things. I sent out invitations (beautiful ones, by the way, that I worked late into the night to create – “with ease,” I might add). I sent personal follow-up messages. I Facebooked. I even picked up the phone and called people.

Nothing worked.

Woman after woman had either a time or personal situation that prevented them from accepting the invitation.

At first, my inner critic scolded me and said “It’s because nobody likes you. It’s because you don’t know enough people and you don’t know how to sell effectively. It’s because you don’t believe in yourself and your ideas enough.” I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

Once I was done with my pity party, I decided to see the situation from a different perspective. All along, I had been trying to force something into being that just wasn’t there. In some ways I wasn’t “ready” enough. The divine timing was off. I learned a lot from the experience and I know there’s something bigger and better in store.

Sometimes we HAVE to do things that aren’t “Easy” or done “With Ease”

Let me stop right here and say, I know there are times in life when we HAVE to do things. By sheer grit. They aren’t easy and they don’t come “with ease.” Anyone who has ever been down on their luck and had to put food on the table anyway can attest to that fact. You might sell some items on eBay or pull some extra shifts to make sure you can feed your family. At times like this, it’s especially difficult to NOT come from a place of desperation or neediness.

I’m not talking about that kind of situation. Although I did have determination and grit to make this thing happen, the “excuses” many women gave me for not being able to participate were clearly NOT objections anyone could overcome.

One woman’s husband suddenly had MAJOR back problems that required him to be in bed while she played nurse – for who knew how long.

Another woman had an ongoing work commitment that just happened to correspond to the dates and times she would need to be available to participate.

And at the last-minute, yet another woman’s daughter hit her head at school and she had a Dr.’s appointment at the exact date and time she would need to be present.

So I looked up into the sky and said “Ok. I hear you, God. I don’t understand it, but I ask You what’s next? I’m willing to do whatever You have in store for me.”

So far, the answer has been to slow down. Slow down so I can hear the messages I’m receiving in my daily journaling. The word “move” has come up more than once. So I’m moving. I’m moving through the discomfort and unease of being in the dark and taking small steps each day for the answers to be revealed to me – all along trusting that once I get the answers, things will move at warp speed and all my efforts will pay off.

And then Something Interesting Happened…

Even though the project was a bust, I still met with my friend to do a vision board in her beautiful home in Half Moon Bay. And as we crafted our visions on the blank canvas, some interesting things emerged. I’ll share one with you. “Blueberries” showed up all over my board (you can see an excerpt from my Dream Board at the top of the page). I thought this odd. Normally, I would have picked grapes as they represent a very special place of abundance to me.

I got the “hit” a few days ago during my journaling.

“Blueberries” represented a long-forgotten, but well-loved color pallet I’ve always wanted to use in my marketing. I took the cue and decided to test out my new camera (although I’m still learning tons, photography is one of the things I do “with ease”) wearing the color pallet. I posted it as my profile picture on Facebook about 2 hours ago and at the time of this post, I have 20 “likes” and 9 comments – and counting. Hmmmm… very interesting.

So now I ask you: What do you do “with ease” in your life? And/or what life experiences have you had where it felt contrived or forced? What was the result? Post on the Facebook share box or blog below.

 

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  1. WOW! Blueberries and photography. Following your artist heart and passion = POWER! Seeing through a new lens (pun intended). You slowed down and things sped up. Fabulous! Congratulations on the courage to let go and follow your (he)art!!! <3